A dearth of Christmas spirit in Germany

Some of you may be a bit alarmed at the title of this post, but it's just something I've encountered this month during the Weihnachtszeit in Germany.  Now, I think most of it is actually due to me- but one example of a dearth in the Christmas spirit has to do with something as simple as holding doors.  This may be because I come from a college that's ranked #1 in door-holding etiquette, but every morning I arrive at my school, the students and teachers alike open the door just barely wide enough for their own bodies to fit through, not even glancing backwards to see if someone else is coming.  On Thursday, there was a student behind me on crutches, so I opened the door for her to let her proceed ahead of me through the door and she gave me this look of amazement and shock- like oh my gosh, it was so strange that I was opening the door for her!  She was on crutches for heaven's sake!  Yes, the door holding sometimes got a little ridiculous at BC, considering it became a topic of discussion in my Research Methods class last fall semester, but I'd take those over-the-top actions of kindness any day.

So what does holding the door have to do with Christmas?  Well, truth be told, not much.  But I'm going to attempt to link the feelings together.  I'll begin this discussion with a disclaimer once again- I am enjoying my time in Germany.  I love the German people and their language, or else I wouldn't have elected to spend another year here after graduation; these are merely just my own feelings and has nothing to do with Germany being an unwelcoming environment.

Weihnachtsbaum in front of Lambertikirche in Münster

Without having experienced it yourself, it's difficult to explain how crazy Germany gets into Christmas. (If you're friends with me on Facebook, just take a look at my December album.) Beginning at the end of November, the squares of every city and town, big and small, are transformed into these beautiful Christmas markets (Weihnachtsmärkte).  Hundreds of little stalls and booths line the streets, selling toys, ornaments, food, drink, sweets, candles, clothing, basically anything you can imagine.  Every tree is draped with lights and each market displays its own show of lights--very important since it's dark around 4:30.  People crowd the little paths, weaving in and out of all the crevices between every stall.

Me, Katherine, and Austin enjoying some hot beverages in Bonn

The moose at this Glühwein Hütte sang carols to us all evening

 
The air is usually crisp and cold and therefore, the best way to keep warm is by holding a mug (tasse) of steaming glühwein (mulled, spiced wine), feuerzangenbowle (alcoholic punch), or simply a kaffee or heiße schokolade with a dash of Bailey's or Amaretto.  Every city has its own unique tasse (sometimes multiple ones within a city) and I made it my goal to collect as many as I could!  (When you buy your drink, you pay an extra 2-3 euro for a deposit on the mug, so you can decide to keep it, or return it when you're done drinking to get your money back).  I'm leaving for England tomorrow, and I managed to collect thirteen tassen at eleven different markets (two from Münster, two from Düsseldorf, and then one from Osnabrück, Köln, Mainz, Heidelberg, Hamburg, Essen, Dortmund, Bonn, and Aachen).

Düsseldorf, Hamburg, Dortmund, Osnabrück

Essen, Düsseldorf, Heidelberg, Aachen

Münster, Bonn, Mainz, Köln, Münster

Besides the decorative and festive Christmas markets, just as in the states, all the department stores and train stations are decorated like crazy, and every restaurant, cafe, and pub is transformed into a festive dining and drinking locale!  I've always liked Christmas, but didn't start becoming obsessed until I started BC, and if I thought that Boston combined with BC went crazy for Christmas, then they just haven't met Germany.

The lit-up markets could make any dreary and grey day full of cheer

Supposedly the world's tallest Christmas tree in Dortmund

 This is my first Christmas season in Europe and I guess I had this idea that maybe it would be a little less commercial here than it is in the States, but I was wrong.  Shoppers still go crazy, waiting in never-ending lines to purchase gifts, and some stores are even open on Sunday!!!!

Aachener Markt outside the Rathaus

Now, bringing this back to the title of the blog post- I'm just not really in the Christmas spirit this year.  A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that I'm not going home, and even though I am wicked excited about experiencing a British Christmas with Rae and her family, it's true that there's no place like home for the holidays.  For those of you that are around me during the month of December, you know that no amount of finals could ever bring me down during the Christmas season.  It's my absolute favorite time of the year.  I listen to Christmas music incessantly, I attend every Christmas concert and production I can, I would give out Christmas cards and candy canes and chocolate to all my friends, I'd wear my Christmas earrings and Santa hat, and Amanda and I would make Christmas calendars with days specifically reserved for looking at trees!  There was no glühwein, no wursts, no gebrannte Mandeln... yet I was always in the best spirits of any point in the year.

My life in December is like an N*Sync song: it's a wonderful feeling, feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling- It's that time of year, Christmastime is here.

This year, it just wasn't the same.  There have definitely been some magical moments- Rae and I were shopping in Dortmund a few weeks ago and afterwards we went back to the markets to get some food, and about five seconds after we got in sight of the giant tree, it was officially lit for the season and some opera singer standing inside the tree started singing "Nessun Dorma."  Can't really beat that, huh?  And even ice skating on a choppy rink with Ashleigh, Katherine, Austin, Joe, and Rachel in Bonn, and drinking glühwein in Aachen looking up at one of the most famous cathedrals in the world, and visiting the Rathaus in Hamburg-- what a difference two months could make--an empty platz to a mesmerizing Christmas market swarming with people, covered in lights, and a visit from Santa!

Rathaus Platz in Hamburg

Beautiful Engel-Markt in Köln

all of the lights.

more lights in Essen

All of these experiences have been wonderful, and I'm glad I was finally able to experience the Weihnachtsmärkte for myself after hearing so many people talk about them for so many years, but something was just missing.  I wasn't my usual bundle of joy this month and I've realized that all the cheesy Christmas movies on ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and on the Hallmark Channel are so right!  It doesn't matter how much money you have to buy presents, it doesn't matter how decorated you house is, or how decorated your town is, or how many Christmas sweaters you own, what matters is who you're with and that the most important thing is to spend the Christmas season with those whom you love and who are dearest to you.

I walk around the Christmas Markets and hear "Last Christmas" on repeat and it's just not the same as singing along with my best friends to The Christmas Song and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and White Christmas and All I Want for Christmas Is You.  I had to teach a number of Christmas lessons during the last couple weeks, and for the older students, I really tried to convey the idea of the spirit of Christmas to them.  There's just something that happens to Americans during the Christmas season.

As Frank Sinatra croons in The Christmas Waltz, "it's that time of year when the world falls in love"

And that is just so true.  Everywhere I went, there were groups of friends and family gathering at the markets, drinking their cups of cheer, and just enjoying the season, but it just wasn't the same for me.  And I've made a lot of friends here, and also visited Katherine in Mainz and then we went to Heidelberg, and visited Paul in Hamburg, two friends I've known for years, but something was just missing.

I guess I've realized myself that even though I've never seen anyplace in my life as decorated as Germany during Weihnachtszeit, decorations and glühwein aren't going to replace or act as a substitute for my dear friends and family and my own Christmas traditions.  Amanda and I didn't get to look at trees in Boston this year, I didn't get to go annual Christmas shopping with Mollie, Jennie, Liz, Marianne, Ruth, Darrell, Nathan, and anyone else that made appearances throughout the years, I didn't get to string Christmas lights around Keyes or 90 or Edmond's or Gabelli, I didn't get to deliver cards and candy canes to all my friends, I didn't get to go to an Ugly-Christmas Sweater party, we didn't take a YAYA Christmas photo in front of Marianne's tree, I won't be able to participate in YAYA late Christmas exchange, I won't get tipsy at dinner at the Cadden's on Christmas Eve, I won't hear the wondrous and beautiful sounds of the Washington Brass at Midnight Mass, I won't get to decorate the tree with mom and unpack the Christmas box and walk around acting like Santa whilst wearing the stockings on my feet, I won't get to do Christmas Eve in Washington with mom and go judge the White House Christmas Tree, I won't get to drink Bailey's on the rocks with mom after mass just admiring the twinkling tree, I won't get to sit on the rug in the living room surrounding myself with wrapping paper and ribbon and stickers and tape and scissors, I won't get to watch White Christmas with mom, I won't get to see the Flicks on Christmas Day, I won't get to rush away from the family exchange with Kelly into her room so we can talk about all the things we can't say in front of the parents and grandparents, I won't get to make gingerbread cookies, I won't get to spend Christmas Day at the Caddens and participate in Kevin's famous wine-guessing game, and we won't have a Christmas party with all our dearest friends, new and old.

I've never thought that I had many Christmas traditions or friends and family to spend Christmas with and always envied my friends that had these giant families and gatherings- but it's taken me being away from home at Christmas for the first time in my life to realize that I really do have a lot of traditions that have been built up over the last 22 years of my life, and gatherings of friends to fill the season with joy, both at home in Virginia and at school in Boston.

I had the option to come home for Christmas and I decided against it.  I thought it was too much money for a visit that would be too emotionally hard- I honestly thought that it would be too hard to go home for my favorite time of the year and then have to come right back to Germany.  A few weeks ago I almost caved and was about to click purchase on a flight home, but I came back to my senses.  It's gotten harder to deal with my decision as it's gotten closer to the actual day of Christmas, and especially since all of my friends that are living far away this year all went home, but I know that I will have a wonderful time with Rae and her family, who have so graciously welcomed me to take part in their traditions with them this year, and that if I can make it through these couple weeks away from home, that I can honestly make it any amount of time away.

Wherever you are though, be it home or away, with new friends or old, I wish you the very merriest of Christmases.  And just remember that it's not about the most expensive gift, it's not about the perfectly prepared meal, and it's not about the most beautiful decorations, but it's about relishing in the spirit of the season with friends and family because, as Andy Williams says, it's the most wonderful time of the year.