A dearth of Christmas spirit in Germany

Some of you may be a bit alarmed at the title of this post, but it's just something I've encountered this month during the Weihnachtszeit in Germany.  Now, I think most of it is actually due to me- but one example of a dearth in the Christmas spirit has to do with something as simple as holding doors.  This may be because I come from a college that's ranked #1 in door-holding etiquette, but every morning I arrive at my school, the students and teachers alike open the door just barely wide enough for their own bodies to fit through, not even glancing backwards to see if someone else is coming.  On Thursday, there was a student behind me on crutches, so I opened the door for her to let her proceed ahead of me through the door and she gave me this look of amazement and shock- like oh my gosh, it was so strange that I was opening the door for her!  She was on crutches for heaven's sake!  Yes, the door holding sometimes got a little ridiculous at BC, considering it became a topic of discussion in my Research Methods class last fall semester, but I'd take those over-the-top actions of kindness any day.

So what does holding the door have to do with Christmas?  Well, truth be told, not much.  But I'm going to attempt to link the feelings together.  I'll begin this discussion with a disclaimer once again- I am enjoying my time in Germany.  I love the German people and their language, or else I wouldn't have elected to spend another year here after graduation; these are merely just my own feelings and has nothing to do with Germany being an unwelcoming environment.

Weihnachtsbaum in front of Lambertikirche in Münster

Without having experienced it yourself, it's difficult to explain how crazy Germany gets into Christmas. (If you're friends with me on Facebook, just take a look at my December album.) Beginning at the end of November, the squares of every city and town, big and small, are transformed into these beautiful Christmas markets (Weihnachtsmärkte).  Hundreds of little stalls and booths line the streets, selling toys, ornaments, food, drink, sweets, candles, clothing, basically anything you can imagine.  Every tree is draped with lights and each market displays its own show of lights--very important since it's dark around 4:30.  People crowd the little paths, weaving in and out of all the crevices between every stall.

Me, Katherine, and Austin enjoying some hot beverages in Bonn

The moose at this Glühwein Hütte sang carols to us all evening

 
The air is usually crisp and cold and therefore, the best way to keep warm is by holding a mug (tasse) of steaming glühwein (mulled, spiced wine), feuerzangenbowle (alcoholic punch), or simply a kaffee or heiße schokolade with a dash of Bailey's or Amaretto.  Every city has its own unique tasse (sometimes multiple ones within a city) and I made it my goal to collect as many as I could!  (When you buy your drink, you pay an extra 2-3 euro for a deposit on the mug, so you can decide to keep it, or return it when you're done drinking to get your money back).  I'm leaving for England tomorrow, and I managed to collect thirteen tassen at eleven different markets (two from Münster, two from Düsseldorf, and then one from Osnabrück, Köln, Mainz, Heidelberg, Hamburg, Essen, Dortmund, Bonn, and Aachen).

Düsseldorf, Hamburg, Dortmund, Osnabrück

Essen, Düsseldorf, Heidelberg, Aachen

Münster, Bonn, Mainz, Köln, Münster

Besides the decorative and festive Christmas markets, just as in the states, all the department stores and train stations are decorated like crazy, and every restaurant, cafe, and pub is transformed into a festive dining and drinking locale!  I've always liked Christmas, but didn't start becoming obsessed until I started BC, and if I thought that Boston combined with BC went crazy for Christmas, then they just haven't met Germany.

The lit-up markets could make any dreary and grey day full of cheer

Supposedly the world's tallest Christmas tree in Dortmund

 This is my first Christmas season in Europe and I guess I had this idea that maybe it would be a little less commercial here than it is in the States, but I was wrong.  Shoppers still go crazy, waiting in never-ending lines to purchase gifts, and some stores are even open on Sunday!!!!

Aachener Markt outside the Rathaus

Now, bringing this back to the title of the blog post- I'm just not really in the Christmas spirit this year.  A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that I'm not going home, and even though I am wicked excited about experiencing a British Christmas with Rae and her family, it's true that there's no place like home for the holidays.  For those of you that are around me during the month of December, you know that no amount of finals could ever bring me down during the Christmas season.  It's my absolute favorite time of the year.  I listen to Christmas music incessantly, I attend every Christmas concert and production I can, I would give out Christmas cards and candy canes and chocolate to all my friends, I'd wear my Christmas earrings and Santa hat, and Amanda and I would make Christmas calendars with days specifically reserved for looking at trees!  There was no glühwein, no wursts, no gebrannte Mandeln... yet I was always in the best spirits of any point in the year.

My life in December is like an N*Sync song: it's a wonderful feeling, feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling- It's that time of year, Christmastime is here.

This year, it just wasn't the same.  There have definitely been some magical moments- Rae and I were shopping in Dortmund a few weeks ago and afterwards we went back to the markets to get some food, and about five seconds after we got in sight of the giant tree, it was officially lit for the season and some opera singer standing inside the tree started singing "Nessun Dorma."  Can't really beat that, huh?  And even ice skating on a choppy rink with Ashleigh, Katherine, Austin, Joe, and Rachel in Bonn, and drinking glühwein in Aachen looking up at one of the most famous cathedrals in the world, and visiting the Rathaus in Hamburg-- what a difference two months could make--an empty platz to a mesmerizing Christmas market swarming with people, covered in lights, and a visit from Santa!

Rathaus Platz in Hamburg

Beautiful Engel-Markt in Köln

all of the lights.

more lights in Essen

All of these experiences have been wonderful, and I'm glad I was finally able to experience the Weihnachtsmärkte for myself after hearing so many people talk about them for so many years, but something was just missing.  I wasn't my usual bundle of joy this month and I've realized that all the cheesy Christmas movies on ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and on the Hallmark Channel are so right!  It doesn't matter how much money you have to buy presents, it doesn't matter how decorated you house is, or how decorated your town is, or how many Christmas sweaters you own, what matters is who you're with and that the most important thing is to spend the Christmas season with those whom you love and who are dearest to you.

I walk around the Christmas Markets and hear "Last Christmas" on repeat and it's just not the same as singing along with my best friends to The Christmas Song and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and White Christmas and All I Want for Christmas Is You.  I had to teach a number of Christmas lessons during the last couple weeks, and for the older students, I really tried to convey the idea of the spirit of Christmas to them.  There's just something that happens to Americans during the Christmas season.

As Frank Sinatra croons in The Christmas Waltz, "it's that time of year when the world falls in love"

And that is just so true.  Everywhere I went, there were groups of friends and family gathering at the markets, drinking their cups of cheer, and just enjoying the season, but it just wasn't the same for me.  And I've made a lot of friends here, and also visited Katherine in Mainz and then we went to Heidelberg, and visited Paul in Hamburg, two friends I've known for years, but something was just missing.

I guess I've realized myself that even though I've never seen anyplace in my life as decorated as Germany during Weihnachtszeit, decorations and glühwein aren't going to replace or act as a substitute for my dear friends and family and my own Christmas traditions.  Amanda and I didn't get to look at trees in Boston this year, I didn't get to go annual Christmas shopping with Mollie, Jennie, Liz, Marianne, Ruth, Darrell, Nathan, and anyone else that made appearances throughout the years, I didn't get to string Christmas lights around Keyes or 90 or Edmond's or Gabelli, I didn't get to deliver cards and candy canes to all my friends, I didn't get to go to an Ugly-Christmas Sweater party, we didn't take a YAYA Christmas photo in front of Marianne's tree, I won't be able to participate in YAYA late Christmas exchange, I won't get tipsy at dinner at the Cadden's on Christmas Eve, I won't hear the wondrous and beautiful sounds of the Washington Brass at Midnight Mass, I won't get to decorate the tree with mom and unpack the Christmas box and walk around acting like Santa whilst wearing the stockings on my feet, I won't get to do Christmas Eve in Washington with mom and go judge the White House Christmas Tree, I won't get to drink Bailey's on the rocks with mom after mass just admiring the twinkling tree, I won't get to sit on the rug in the living room surrounding myself with wrapping paper and ribbon and stickers and tape and scissors, I won't get to watch White Christmas with mom, I won't get to see the Flicks on Christmas Day, I won't get to rush away from the family exchange with Kelly into her room so we can talk about all the things we can't say in front of the parents and grandparents, I won't get to make gingerbread cookies, I won't get to spend Christmas Day at the Caddens and participate in Kevin's famous wine-guessing game, and we won't have a Christmas party with all our dearest friends, new and old.

I've never thought that I had many Christmas traditions or friends and family to spend Christmas with and always envied my friends that had these giant families and gatherings- but it's taken me being away from home at Christmas for the first time in my life to realize that I really do have a lot of traditions that have been built up over the last 22 years of my life, and gatherings of friends to fill the season with joy, both at home in Virginia and at school in Boston.

I had the option to come home for Christmas and I decided against it.  I thought it was too much money for a visit that would be too emotionally hard- I honestly thought that it would be too hard to go home for my favorite time of the year and then have to come right back to Germany.  A few weeks ago I almost caved and was about to click purchase on a flight home, but I came back to my senses.  It's gotten harder to deal with my decision as it's gotten closer to the actual day of Christmas, and especially since all of my friends that are living far away this year all went home, but I know that I will have a wonderful time with Rae and her family, who have so graciously welcomed me to take part in their traditions with them this year, and that if I can make it through these couple weeks away from home, that I can honestly make it any amount of time away.

Wherever you are though, be it home or away, with new friends or old, I wish you the very merriest of Christmases.  And just remember that it's not about the most expensive gift, it's not about the perfectly prepared meal, and it's not about the most beautiful decorations, but it's about relishing in the spirit of the season with friends and family because, as Andy Williams says, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

NB

Just a quick nota bene to my previous post... I have since realized that in nearly all of the scarf pictures I posted as examples, I was wearing that same gold scarf!  It's a very dear scarf, and absolutely my favorite scarf.  I bought it back in the early months of 2009, my freshman year at BC, when the frost was beginning to melt and the temperatures slowly began to rise...

I almost lost that scarf back in the winter of 2011- right before I went abroad, actually.  It was the week I visited BC in February- what would've been the spring semester of my junior year, but instead, it was a few weeks before I left for Germany.  After a night out, we of course all stopped at Lower for Late Night, and after devouring fried deliciousness, we all left our booth and when I got outside, I realized my neck was quite cold- THE SCARF!  I dashed back inside, and there was a new group of drunk kids sitting at what had been our booth- probably freshmen cause they sucked.  I told them I was pretty sure I had left my scarf on the seat and the girls just looked at me and gave me an aloof answer, acting as if I was somehow trespassing or interrupting their holy meal (although let's get real- Friday and Saturday nights at Lower are basically holy meals because they save us by putting some kind of food in our bodies after a night of unhealthy college drinking habits).  They rudely told me my scarf was definitely not there, but I was persistent and insisted that they look under their butts and sure enough, there it was- my beloved scarf!

BC kids can just be so rude when they're drunk sometimes!

Anyways, there it is.  An ode to my favorite gold scarf.  It's traveled the world with me and been through a lot.  We're approaching four years now- a relationship longer than many others I've had in my life.  Lol.

Der Schal. (And other German trends that Sabrina may or may not be adopting)

We Americans have always known Europe to be the land of scarves.  I don't think I even ever wore or owned a scarf before my first visit to the continent in 2004 (an exchange trip to France and Spain in 8th grade).  We stayed with host families for a week, and I remember thinking my host sister, Nicole, was just the coolest girl ever with her scarf.  One day, I was out with her family and we passed a little scarf boutique on our way to the train station (gare...see! I told you guys I'm learning French !) and her mother bought me my first scarf!  It was just like Nicole's, but red, and I just thought I was the coolest 13 year old ever and went on to wear it every day for the rest of the trip.

That was the beginning of Sabrina and scarves.  Since that fundamental day back almost nine years ago, I've been experimenting and changing my scarf style, in an effort to look more chic and European.  As popular as scarves have become in America in the past few years though, we just don't seem to be able to keep up with the capricious Europeans and their scarf styles!  From my observations, Americans seem to be stuck in the era of scarf styles that Europe hit back in 2008/09 or so.  A nice pashmina with a nice design and some nice colors, draped around the neck kind of like a necklace.

necklace style in New Orleans in Jan. 2011

Isntabul Apr. 2011- still the necklace style

It was this style that I displayed for the first few years of college...and then I went to Germany to study abroad for a semester.  I arrived in February, so it was quite cold, and realized that those capricious Europeans had amended their style!  They still seemed to be hanging on to those lovely pashminas, but the scarves had changed from being more of a decorative hanging necklace, to now more of a thick choker.  I noticed now that the scarves were wrapped very tightly around the neck- and I realized this made more sense, as now I was actually protected from the cold when my coat was on.  But even once the temperatures began to climb, the Germans continued this choker style of the scarf.  Naturally, I adopted the style, and all of last fall and winter back at school in Boston- this was how I wore my scarf.  I looked around me though, and really only saw the droopy necklace style around me.

Last day in Istanbul- evolved to the choker style!

Flash forward to this past September.  I made my way back to Germany, with all my trusty scarves in tow.  Went to town, went to work, went traveling- all while wearing my choker style scarf.  Quite soon though, I began to notice yet again, a new kind of scarf style...and new scarves!  I had been gone just over a year, but they went and changed their style again!  And here we are...the temperatures dropping as we hit the cold temperatures once again.

still holding onto the choker style on a visit to HD in Sept. 2012

The new style of scarves is a giant wooly knit thing, that is just a big giant circle.  You put it on like a giant necklace, and then wrap it as many times as you can around your neck, until only the top half of your face is visible.  At first glace, I thought this style looked absolutely ridiculous, but I've grown to like it quite a bit.  Perhaps to the non-German, I look like one of those medieval men of Shakespeare's time wearing one of those giant white collar things that we look at now and wonder what on earth they were thinking.  Maybe in 100 years, my great-grandchildren will look at pictures of me and say "wow- what was Sabrina thinking when she wore that thing around her neck?!"  But in the here and now, it keeps me quite warm.

the circle scarf on a trip to the Weihnachtsmarkt in Bonn

Like seriously- it's just a giant poofy thing around my neck!

I mean, it's practically got a mind of its own

Moving on from der Schal though...

There are a number of other Germanisms and German trends and ways of doing things that I'm adopting, now in my third month of being back.  Some were things I adopted in Heidelberg, and some are new.

Sneakers.
This was something I had to come to terms with when I got to Heidelberg- Germans love their sneakers...or basically any shoe that ties.  They would never be caught dead wearing exercise or running shoes when doing anything besides exercising or joggen, but they love their stylish and colorful sneakers.  This is what prompted me to buy my bright pink Keds look-alike sneakers when I was abroad.  Those had to be trashed before I came back to the States, because after climbing up to the Thingstätte a few too many times and some big hills in Istanbul, they were absolutely destroyed.  I bought a new pair though- they're kind of like high tops, they're brown, and they're super super warm.  Warm shoes were a must since my purple uggs weren't going to work so well in Germany....

So German.

Scarves.
Don't worry- this is just a side note I failed to mention in my verbose discussion of European scarf styles.  Besides adopting the trend, I also feel naked without a scarf.  Like actually.  It would be like the equivalent of walking around with no pants.  One evening a few weeks ago, I went into town and didn't wear a scarf, and I was actually feeling just short of anxious the whole evening.


Bäkerei.
Ugh the bakeries.  Biggest love-hate relationship in my life right now.  And biggest weakness in my life right now.  For some reason I never really got with the whole bakery thing until the last month or so in Heidelberg, but this time around, I've been hitting them up nearly every day since I got here.

It's awful.

Bakeries on every corner- all serving delicious vollkornbrötchen and käsebrötchen and brezeln and the little Ditsch pizzas and the little mozzerella-tomato sandwiches from Kamps.  Notice nothing I'm listing contains anything filling- it's all carbs, so I'm constantly hungry throughout the day, hence my problem.  I just keep eating baked goods!  I'm into my fourth week of half-marathon training, so luckily I can somewhat justify this intake of carbs, but just like in Heidelberg, I've accepted the fact that I will be returning to the States with a few added pounds...just in time for beach season!

Whatever. Worth it.

My Diet.
No, I'm not like...on a diet.  I just mean what I eat on a daily basis.  Everyone thinks of Germany as sausage-land, and thinks that everyone just eats meat all the time.  But when I was in Heidelberg, I actually ate a lot less meat than ever before in my life, and the same is true now that I'm back.  I'm honestly just too lazy to ever cook meat, and will have the occasional döner or bratwurst if I'm out in town and hungry, but other than that my diet mainly consists of fruits, veggies, bread, and cheese.


Oh yeah. And chocolate.
But we all knew that was going to happen, right? This one goes without explanation I think.  50 cent bars calling out to me every time I set foot in a grocery store?  Every flavor variation under the sun? Amazing chocolatey goodness that doesn't exist in the States? I saw an Überfact on Twitter last month comparing the intake of chocolate bars by Germans versus Americans.  Well, let's just say... I'm much closer to the German figure.

Münster.
Finally feeling like it's my home!  Aka- Rae and I are now recognized by the döner guy across from her flat where we go almost once a week.  He knows our orders and now gives us discounts!  And while she has a smoke outside, I'll sit inside and chat with the guys who are always there.  And I always go to the same stand to get my fruits and veggies at the market, and the guy there now recognizes me and now gives me a discount!  #solocal.


The Bike.
Just like in Heidelberg, my bike is a piece of crap and I fear for my life every time I hop on it, but I'm growing fond of it.  After almost three months of biking in the German capital of bikes, I'm feeling much more comfortable.  I've started biking faster (still not as fast as the crazy Germans though.  Where are they going?!) and have gotten better at becoming aggressive on the bike.  Not in a dangerous way, though.  It's more of a passive-aggression...kind of like my driving.  Whoops.


Staring.
This was a culture shock that took a while to adapt to when I was in Heidelberg.  I remember the first few days, when we were all at the Center, and Dr. Heckmann and Eric telling all of us not to be alarmed when the Germans stared.  We didn't really know what they were talking about, and then within a couple weeks, it was like...ohhhh.  This time around, I was totally ready.  It still took a month or so to get used to it again, but now I've gotten to the point where I can do it right back.  Although staring at people is just such an antithesis to American culture, it's kind of fun to do it, because you can just stare at people and it's okay!  I can't hold my gaze quite as long as the Germans, but hey, I've still got more than six months left!  Just watch out- when I get back, I'll be staring all y'all down! (Yeah, lately, I've been using y'all a lot...)


And there were just a few noteworthy Germanisms I've been adopting.  And of course, a history of scarves.  We're now approaching the apogee of the Christmas season, and the Weihnachtsmärkte are alive and booming.  But that'll be a post for a later date.