Saturday, December 22, 2012

A dearth of Christmas spirit in Germany

Some of you may be a bit alarmed at the title of this post, but it's just something I've encountered this month during the Weihnachtszeit in Germany.  Now, I think most of it is actually due to me- but one example of a dearth in the Christmas spirit has to do with something as simple as holding doors.  This may be because I come from a college that's ranked #1 in door-holding etiquette, but every morning I arrive at my school, the students and teachers alike open the door just barely wide enough for their own bodies to fit through, not even glancing backwards to see if someone else is coming.  On Thursday, there was a student behind me on crutches, so I opened the door for her to let her proceed ahead of me through the door and she gave me this look of amazement and shock- like oh my gosh, it was so strange that I was opening the door for her!  She was on crutches for heaven's sake!  Yes, the door holding sometimes got a little ridiculous at BC, considering it became a topic of discussion in my Research Methods class last fall semester, but I'd take those over-the-top actions of kindness any day.

So what does holding the door have to do with Christmas?  Well, truth be told, not much.  But I'm going to attempt to link the feelings together.  I'll begin this discussion with a disclaimer once again- I am enjoying my time in Germany.  I love the German people and their language, or else I wouldn't have elected to spend another year here after graduation; these are merely just my own feelings and has nothing to do with Germany being an unwelcoming environment.

Weihnachtsbaum in front of Lambertikirche in Münster

Without having experienced it yourself, it's difficult to explain how crazy Germany gets into Christmas. (If you're friends with me on Facebook, just take a look at my December album.) Beginning at the end of November, the squares of every city and town, big and small, are transformed into these beautiful Christmas markets (Weihnachtsmärkte).  Hundreds of little stalls and booths line the streets, selling toys, ornaments, food, drink, sweets, candles, clothing, basically anything you can imagine.  Every tree is draped with lights and each market displays its own show of lights--very important since it's dark around 4:30.  People crowd the little paths, weaving in and out of all the crevices between every stall.

Me, Katherine, and Austin enjoying some hot beverages in Bonn

The moose at this Glühwein Hütte sang carols to us all evening
 
The air is usually crisp and cold and therefore, the best way to keep warm is by holding a mug (tasse) of steaming glühwein (mulled, spiced wine), feuerzangenbowle (alcoholic punch), or simply a kaffee or heiße schokolade with a dash of Bailey's or Amaretto.  Every city has its own unique tasse (sometimes multiple ones within a city) and I made it my goal to collect as many as I could!  (When you buy your drink, you pay an extra 2-3 euro for a deposit on the mug, so you can decide to keep it, or return it when you're done drinking to get your money back).  I'm leaving for England tomorrow, and I managed to collect thirteen tassen at eleven different markets (two from Münster, two from Düsseldorf, and then one from Osnabrück, Köln, Mainz, Heidelberg, Hamburg, Essen, Dortmund, Bonn, and Aachen).

Düsseldorf, Hamburg, Dortmund, Osnabrück

Essen, Düsseldorf, Heidelberg, Aachen

Münster, Bonn, Mainz, Köln, Münster

Besides the decorative and festive Christmas markets, just as in the states, all the department stores and train stations are decorated like crazy, and every restaurant, cafe, and pub is transformed into a festive dining and drinking locale!  I've always liked Christmas, but didn't start becoming obsessed until I started BC, and if I thought that Boston combined with BC went crazy for Christmas, then they just haven't met Germany.

The lit-up markets could make any dreary and grey day full of cheer

Supposedly the world's tallest Christmas tree in Dortmund
 This is my first Christmas season in Europe and I guess I had this idea that maybe it would be a little less commercial here than it is in the States, but I was wrong.  Shoppers still go crazy, waiting in never-ending lines to purchase gifts, and some stores are even open on Sunday!!!!

Aachener Markt outside the Rathaus

Now, bringing this back to the title of the blog post- I'm just not really in the Christmas spirit this year.  A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that I'm not going home, and even though I am wicked excited about experiencing a British Christmas with Rae and her family, it's true that there's no place like home for the holidays.  For those of you that are around me during the month of December, you know that no amount of finals could ever bring me down during the Christmas season.  It's my absolute favorite time of the year.  I listen to Christmas music incessantly, I attend every Christmas concert and production I can, I would give out Christmas cards and candy canes and chocolate to all my friends, I'd wear my Christmas earrings and Santa hat, and Amanda and I would make Christmas calendars with days specifically reserved for looking at trees!  There was no glühwein, no wursts, no gebrannte Mandeln... yet I was always in the best spirits of any point in the year.

My life in December is like an N*Sync song: it's a wonderful feeling, feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling- It's that time of year, Christmastime is here.

This year, it just wasn't the same.  There have definitely been some magical moments- Rae and I were shopping in Dortmund a few weeks ago and afterwards we went back to the markets to get some food, and about five seconds after we got in sight of the giant tree, it was officially lit for the season and some opera singer standing inside the tree started singing "Nessun Dorma."  Can't really beat that, huh?  And even ice skating on a choppy rink with Ashleigh, Katherine, Austin, Joe, and Rachel in Bonn, and drinking glühwein in Aachen looking up at one of the most famous cathedrals in the world, and visiting the Rathaus in Hamburg-- what a difference two months could make--an empty platz to a mesmerizing Christmas market swarming with people, covered in lights, and a visit from Santa!
Rathaus Platz in Hamburg

Beautiful Engel-Markt in Köln

all of the lights.

more lights in Essen

All of these experiences have been wonderful, and I'm glad I was finally able to experience the Weihnachtsmärkte for myself after hearing so many people talk about them for so many years, but something was just missing.  I wasn't my usual bundle of joy this month and I've realized that all the cheesy Christmas movies on ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and on the Hallmark Channel are so right!  It doesn't matter how much money you have to buy presents, it doesn't matter how decorated you house is, or how decorated your town is, or how many Christmas sweaters you own, what matters is who you're with and that the most important thing is to spend the Christmas season with those whom you love and who are dearest to you.

I walk around the Christmas Markets and hear "Last Christmas" on repeat and it's just not the same as singing along with my best friends to The Christmas Song and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and White Christmas and All I Want for Christmas Is You.  I had to teach a number of Christmas lessons during the last couple weeks, and for the older students, I really tried to convey the idea of the spirit of Christmas to them.  There's just something that happens to Americans during the Christmas season.

As Frank Sinatra croons in The Christmas Waltz, "it's that time of year when the world falls in love"

And that is just so true.  Everywhere I went, there were groups of friends and family gathering at the markets, drinking their cups of cheer, and just enjoying the season, but it just wasn't the same for me.  And I've made a lot of friends here, and also visited Katherine in Mainz and then we went to Heidelberg, and visited Paul in Hamburg, two friends I've known for years, but something was just missing.

I guess I've realized myself that even though I've never seen anyplace in my life as decorated as Germany during Weihnachtszeit, decorations and glühwein aren't going to replace or act as a substitute for my dear friends and family and my own Christmas traditions.  Amanda and I didn't get to look at trees in Boston this year, I didn't get to go annual Christmas shopping with Mollie, Jennie, Liz, Marianne, Ruth, Darrell, Nathan, and anyone else that made appearances throughout the years, I didn't get to string Christmas lights around Keyes or 90 or Edmond's or Gabelli, I didn't get to deliver cards and candy canes to all my friends, I didn't get to go to an Ugly-Christmas Sweater party, we didn't take a YAYA Christmas photo in front of Marianne's tree, I won't be able to participate in YAYA late Christmas exchange, I won't get tipsy at dinner at the Cadden's on Christmas Eve, I won't hear the wondrous and beautiful sounds of the Washington Brass at Midnight Mass, I won't get to decorate the tree with mom and unpack the Christmas box and walk around acting like Santa whilst wearing the stockings on my feet, I won't get to do Christmas Eve in Washington with mom and go judge the White House Christmas Tree, I won't get to drink Bailey's on the rocks with mom after mass just admiring the twinkling tree, I won't get to sit on the rug in the living room surrounding myself with wrapping paper and ribbon and stickers and tape and scissors, I won't get to watch White Christmas with mom, I won't get to see the Flicks on Christmas Day, I won't get to rush away from the family exchange with Kelly into her room so we can talk about all the things we can't say in front of the parents and grandparents, I won't get to make gingerbread cookies, I won't get to spend Christmas Day at the Caddens and participate in Kevin's famous wine-guessing game, and we won't have a Christmas party with all our dearest friends, new and old.

I've never thought that I had many Christmas traditions or friends and family to spend Christmas with and always envied my friends that had these giant families and gatherings- but it's taken me being away from home at Christmas for the first time in my life to realize that I really do have a lot of traditions that have been built up over the last 22 years of my life, and gatherings of friends to fill the season with joy, both at home in Virginia and at school in Boston.

I had the option to come home for Christmas and I decided against it.  I thought it was too much money for a visit that would be too emotionally hard- I honestly thought that it would be too hard to go home for my favorite time of the year and then have to come right back to Germany.  A few weeks ago I almost caved and was about to click purchase on a flight home, but I came back to my senses.  It's gotten harder to deal with my decision as it's gotten closer to the actual day of Christmas, and especially since all of my friends that are living far away this year all went home, but I know that I will have a wonderful time with Rae and her family, who have so graciously welcomed me to take part in their traditions with them this year, and that if I can make it through these couple weeks away from home, that I can honestly make it any amount of time away.

Wherever you are though, be it home or away, with new friends or old, I wish you the very merriest of Christmases.  And just remember that it's not about the most expensive gift, it's not about the perfectly prepared meal, and it's not about the most beautiful decorations, but it's about relishing in the spirit of the season with friends and family because, as Andy Williams says, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

NB

Just a quick nota bene to my previous post... I have since realized that in nearly all of the scarf pictures I posted as examples, I was wearing that same gold scarf!  It's a very dear scarf, and absolutely my favorite scarf.  I bought it back in the early months of 2009, my freshman year at BC, when the frost was beginning to melt and the temperatures slowly began to rise...

I almost lost that scarf back in the winter of 2011- right before I went abroad, actually.  It was the week I visited BC in February- what would've been the spring semester of my junior year, but instead, it was a few weeks before I left for Germany.  After a night out, we of course all stopped at Lower for Late Night, and after devouring fried deliciousness, we all left our booth and when I got outside, I realized my neck was quite cold- THE SCARF!  I dashed back inside, and there was a new group of drunk kids sitting at what had been our booth- probably freshmen cause they sucked.  I told them I was pretty sure I had left my scarf on the seat and the girls just looked at me and gave me an aloof answer, acting as if I was somehow trespassing or interrupting their holy meal (although let's get real- Friday and Saturday nights at Lower are basically holy meals because they save us by putting some kind of food in our bodies after a night of unhealthy college drinking habits).  They rudely told me my scarf was definitely not there, but I was persistent and insisted that they look under their butts and sure enough, there it was- my beloved scarf!

BC kids can just be so rude when they're drunk sometimes!

Anyways, there it is.  An ode to my favorite gold scarf.  It's traveled the world with me and been through a lot.  We're approaching four years now- a relationship longer than many others I've had in my life.  Lol.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Der Schal. (And other German trends that Sabrina may or may not be adopting)

We Americans have always known Europe to be the land of scarves.  I don't think I even ever wore or owned a scarf before my first visit to the continent in 2004 (an exchange trip to France and Spain in 8th grade).  We stayed with host families for a week, and I remember thinking my host sister, Nicole, was just the coolest girl ever with her scarf.  One day, I was out with her family and we passed a little scarf boutique on our way to the train station (gare...see! I told you guys I'm learning French !) and her mother bought me my first scarf!  It was just like Nicole's, but red, and I just thought I was the coolest 13 year old ever and went on to wear it every day for the rest of the trip.

That was the beginning of Sabrina and scarves.  Since that fundamental day back almost nine years ago, I've been experimenting and changing my scarf style, in an effort to look more chic and European.  As popular as scarves have become in America in the past few years though, we just don't seem to be able to keep up with the capricious Europeans and their scarf styles!  From my observations, Americans seem to be stuck in the era of scarf styles that Europe hit back in 2008/09 or so.  A nice pashmina with a nice design and some nice colors, draped around the neck kind of like a necklace.

necklace style in New Orleans in Jan. 2011

Isntabul Apr. 2011- still the necklace style


It was this style that I displayed for the first few years of college...and then I went to Germany to study abroad for a semester.  I arrived in February, so it was quite cold, and realized that those capricious Europeans had amended their style!  They still seemed to be hanging on to those lovely pashminas, but the scarves had changed from being more of a decorative hanging necklace, to now more of a thick choker.  I noticed now that the scarves were wrapped very tightly around the neck- and I realized this made more sense, as now I was actually protected from the cold when my coat was on.  But even once the temperatures began to climb, the Germans continued this choker style of the scarf.  Naturally, I adopted the style, and all of last fall and winter back at school in Boston- this was how I wore my scarf.  I looked around me though, and really only saw the droopy necklace style around me.

Last day in Istanbul- evolved to the choker style!


Flash forward to this past September.  I made my way back to Germany, with all my trusty scarves in tow.  Went to town, went to work, went traveling- all while wearing my choker style scarf.  Quite soon though, I began to notice yet again, a new kind of scarf style...and new scarves!  I had been gone just over a year, but they went and changed their style again!  And here we are...the temperatures dropping as we hit the cold temperatures once again.

still holding onto the choker style on a visit to HD in Sept. 2012


The new style of scarves is a giant wooly knit thing, that is just a big giant circle.  You put it on like a giant necklace, and then wrap it as many times as you can around your neck, until only the top half of your face is visible.  At first glace, I thought this style looked absolutely ridiculous, but I've grown to like it quite a bit.  Perhaps to the non-German, I look like one of those medieval men of Shakespeare's time wearing one of those giant white collar things that we look at now and wonder what on earth they were thinking.  Maybe in 100 years, my great-grandchildren will look at pictures of me and say "wow- what was Sabrina thinking when she wore that thing around her neck?!"  But in the here and now, it keeps me quite warm.

the circle scarf on a trip to the Weihnachtsmarkt in Bonn

Like seriously- it's just a giant poofy thing around my neck!

I mean, it's practically got a mind of its own


Moving on from der Schal though...

There are a number of other Germanisms and German trends and ways of doing things that I'm adopting, now in my third month of being back.  Some were things I adopted in Heidelberg, and some are new.

Sneakers.
This was something I had to come to terms with when I got to Heidelberg- Germans love their sneakers...or basically any shoe that ties.  They would never be caught dead wearing exercise or running shoes when doing anything besides exercising or joggen, but they love their stylish and colorful sneakers.  This is what prompted me to buy my bright pink Keds look-alike sneakers when I was abroad.  Those had to be trashed before I came back to the States, because after climbing up to the Thingstätte a few too many times and some big hills in Istanbul, they were absolutely destroyed.  I bought a new pair though- they're kind of like high tops, they're brown, and they're super super warm.  Warm shoes were a must since my purple uggs weren't going to work so well in Germany....

So German.


Scarves.
Don't worry- this is just a side note I failed to mention in my verbose discussion of European scarf styles.  Besides adopting the trend, I also feel naked without a scarf.  Like actually.  It would be like the equivalent of walking around with no pants.  One evening a few weeks ago, I went into town and didn't wear a scarf, and I was actually feeling just short of anxious the whole evening.


Bäkerei.
Ugh the bakeries.  Biggest love-hate relationship in my life right now.  And biggest weakness in my life right now.  For some reason I never really got with the whole bakery thing until the last month or so in Heidelberg, but this time around, I've been hitting them up nearly every day since I got here.

It's awful.

Bakeries on every corner- all serving delicious vollkornbrötchen and käsebrötchen and brezeln and the little Ditsch pizzas and the little mozzerella-tomato sandwiches from Kamps.  Notice nothing I'm listing contains anything filling- it's all carbs, so I'm constantly hungry throughout the day, hence my problem.  I just keep eating baked goods!  I'm into my fourth week of half-marathon training, so luckily I can somewhat justify this intake of carbs, but just like in Heidelberg, I've accepted the fact that I will be returning to the States with a few added pounds...just in time for beach season!

Whatever. Worth it.

My Diet.
No, I'm not like...on a diet.  I just mean what I eat on a daily basis.  Everyone thinks of Germany as sausage-land, and thinks that everyone just eats meat all the time.  But when I was in Heidelberg, I actually ate a lot less meat than ever before in my life, and the same is true now that I'm back.  I'm honestly just too lazy to ever cook meat, and will have the occasional döner or bratwurst if I'm out in town and hungry, but other than that my diet mainly consists of fruits, veggies, bread, and cheese.


Oh yeah. And chocolate.
But we all knew that was going to happen, right? This one goes without explanation I think.  50 cent bars calling out to me every time I set foot in a grocery store?  Every flavor variation under the sun? Amazing chocolatey goodness that doesn't exist in the States? I saw an Überfact on Twitter last month comparing the intake of chocolate bars by Germans versus Americans.  Well, let's just say... I'm much closer to the German figure.

Münster.
Finally feeling like it's my home!  Aka- Rae and I are now recognized by the döner guy across from her flat where we go almost once a week.  He knows our orders and now gives us discounts!  And while she has a smoke outside, I'll sit inside and chat with the guys who are always there.  And I always go to the same stand to get my fruits and veggies at the market, and the guy there now recognizes me and now gives me a discount!  #solocal.


The Bike.
Just like in Heidelberg, my bike is a piece of crap and I fear for my life every time I hop on it, but I'm growing fond of it.  After almost three months of biking in the German capital of bikes, I'm feeling much more comfortable.  I've started biking faster (still not as fast as the crazy Germans though.  Where are they going?!) and have gotten better at becoming aggressive on the bike.  Not in a dangerous way, though.  It's more of a passive-aggression...kind of like my driving.  Whoops.


Staring.
This was a culture shock that took a while to adapt to when I was in Heidelberg.  I remember the first few days, when we were all at the Center, and Dr. Heckmann and Eric telling all of us not to be alarmed when the Germans stared.  We didn't really know what they were talking about, and then within a couple weeks, it was like...ohhhh.  This time around, I was totally ready.  It still took a month or so to get used to it again, but now I've gotten to the point where I can do it right back.  Although staring at people is just such an antithesis to American culture, it's kind of fun to do it, because you can just stare at people and it's okay!  I can't hold my gaze quite as long as the Germans, but hey, I've still got more than six months left!  Just watch out- when I get back, I'll be staring all y'all down! (Yeah, lately, I've been using y'all a lot...)


And there were just a few noteworthy Germanisms I've been adopting.  And of course, a history of scarves.  We're now approaching the apogee of the Christmas season, and the Weihnachtsmärkte are alive and booming.  But that'll be a post for a later date.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Btw...

I've lately become addicted to reading articles on Thought Catalog, because these guys are much better writers than I, and seem to always capture every problem I have so well with their words (and most likely the problem of every other American 20-something) but this one proved worth sharing, because it's exactly how I've felt about Boston every day since I left it on September 2.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-miss-another-city/

Reflections of a 22 year old.

The American stereotype is that a semester abroad is supposed to be this enriching, eye-opening, cultural and personal awakening of sorts.  And when I spent my semester abroad in Heidelberg, it was exactly that.  Life abroad was completely bipolar, but for the most part, pretty magical.  Every other weekend I was jetting off to new places, experiencing new cultures, and meeting new people.  I returned home with myriad stories, but of course, had to throw in some emo in there- and I felt a little lost for a few months.  What was tough was that the majority of my closest friends from school and from home didn't go abroad, so I had to figure out how to fit back into their lives, and I clang tightly to my friends that had gone abroad as well, who were tackling the same issues that I was upon returning home.

After a few months back at school though, I was finally comfortable again, and was back in the swing of things.  As I've written about before, my last year at BC and this past summer were absolutely amazing- probably the best period of my life thus far.  I was completely comfortable with myself, I had the best friends in the world--friends with whom I was completely in love almost all the time.  I was the healthiest I've ever been in my life, and felt more accomplished than I probably have in my whole life after I finished the Boston Marathon in April.

Since the end of March, I knew my year in Germany was quickly approaching.  April and May were so consumed with birthdays, the marathon, concerts, finals, senior week, and commencement that I never thought twice about Fulbright- I was just so utterly relieved to know that I had a future and could finally enjoy my last two months.  When the summer hit though, for anyone that was with me, you're all aware that I was in denial of going to Germany, and whenever I did take a moment to think about it, I just got really upset- so it really wasn't until the five days I spent at home in Virginia before my flight to Frankfurt that I was forced to face reality.

I labeled this post "Reflections" because I've now been back in Germany for almost three months now, and with all this excess time on my hands, I've had surfeits of periods to just sit and reflect (look at the Jesuit education pervading me right there!) on my life as a 22 year-old post-grad...living in Germany.  I feel like I'm losing any credibility by quoting Tswift here, but she really hits the nail on the head in her song "22" when she says, "We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time- it's miserable and magical..."

Moving to Germany right after I graduated college is a lot like being 22...I'm happy, free, confused, and lonely all at the same time...and it's both miserable and magical.  On Wednesday it was magical.  I had to be in for the first lesson but then had a period off, so I walked through the market, which was still fairly empty because it was so early, and bought my fresh produce for the week, and then walked to a bakery right in town, passing the accordion player- so stereotypical Europe, right?  What every teenage girl thinks her life in Europe would be like.  But the past week overall, there's been an undertone of misery because yesterday was Thanksgiving and for perhaps the first time in my life, I am legitimately homesick.  I always go on and on about how Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday because my extended family doesn't have the best relationship (if any relationship at all) and then of course, it's just me and my mom, but especially with the Christmas season now officially started, it's really hitting me just how much I love this time of year.

I'll be in want of no Christmas cheer in Germany though- Christmas as we know it was basically invented here, and the trees and lights and decorations began to be put up last week already.  I'm beyond excited for the Christmas markets and for spending the holiday itself with Rae and her family in England, but it's a people thing.  I'm sad that I won't be able to share my absolute favorite time of year with the people who are closest and dearest to my heart.

...Wow.  Cue #sappysabs again.  Jeez, I'm getting soft in my old age.

It's just so funny to think back to when I was 15 and 16 and in high school, and how I was always so sure that I was going to live abroad and just travel for most of my life, and had absolutely no interest in a family or in staying in America--and at 22, I'm doing exactly that (teenager Sabrina would be so proud!)  I'm living the life over here in Germany- but as Mollie so well explained in an email updating about her time in France so far, something's missing.  I can't explain what it is, but there's just something missing.

When I got to BC, I thought that I'd have my life figured out by the time I was 25...that's now less than two and a half years away.  And if we count my year in Germany as a slight pause on my life, then I really only have about two years when I get back to figure out my life.  I guess what I'm super worried about, is having to spend a year of that re-adjusting to life back in America.  After Heidelberg, I was in my "funk" for basically about as long as I was abroad--so this time around, does that mean I'll be in a funk for ten months now...trying to figure out how I fit back into life back home?  Because I just really don't have that kind of time.

Also, as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the stereotype is that you come back from your semester abroad as this new person, having "found yourself."  That was somewhat true for me--I definitely came back different, but as I said, just simply more comfortable with who I was and who I wanted to be and such.  And now--I almost feel like I'm having to do it all again!  Just as I was happy with my life before I left, I was happy with myself, and since getting to Germany, I've only had ample time to look at myself and only see problems.  So does this mean I have to rediscover myself and come back an even newer version of myself?!

Because that just seems unnecessary.

It seems to be the direction in which things are moving though...

My ramblings today seem kind of depressing, but 'tis really not the intent.  These have just been my running thoughts over the past week, since I've been teaching so many Thanksgiving lessons and thinking about home a lot in the process.  I've been noticing myself being reluctant in really investing any true effort into relationships and my life here, and I think that's because again, it's the something's-missing syndrome.  I came to Germany with a lot of emotional crap on my plate, and I think I'm still trying to work through some of that, which in a way, has definitely hindered me from really taking full advantage of all the opportunities I have during my year here.

All part of being 22?

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

So what about that teaching thing...?

After numerous blog posts over the last two months, it only just now hit me that I've prattled* on about Oktoberfest, Münster, Hamburg, Ireland, bikes, and more- but I haven't talked about my job at all!

(*prattle: to babble meaninglessly; to talk in an empty and idle matter... look at me using my GRE vocab words in my blog!  Hopefully if you've been following my rambles though, you're not finding me to be prattling too much...)

So, my technical title is English Teaching Assistant.  Pretty vague, right?  Well, it's just as vague to the teachers at the school as it is to us teaching assistants.  There are 140 Americans working for Fulbright as ETAs, and we're all scattered all over Germany, at every type of school in every type of demographic, so we're all having completely different experiences.  The general consensus seems to be though, that all of us do as much as we want to do- it's up to us basically to take the initiative with the teachers if we desire a greater role in the classroom and in the lessons.

I've been in Münster for just over two months now, but two weeks of those were fall break and another week of that was a conference for all the FSAs, so I actually haven't been at the school that long, relatively speaking, and am only just now really starting to make my presence known and actually feel comfortable with presenting my ideas to teachers and asking for a bigger role in the classroom.

My classes now are a 6th grade class that I see for three lessons per week (one lesson is one hour at my school), an 8th grade class I see once per week, three different tenth grade classes I see one hour each per week, an 11th grade class I see once per week, and a 12th grade class I see twice per week.  I had preconceived notions that 8th graders would be the worst, but actually the 8th graders are great!  I think the 10th graders are the hardest to reach, because it seems that no matter what I talk to them about- they just return blank stares to me and seem as if learning English and about America is last on their list of things that interest them.

I enjoy my 11th grade class though, (they're the ones I went to the pub with), and a lot of them have international experience and have displayed a lot of interest in America (especially the election) and I've been able to facilitate discussions with them about real and current issues, and they always have a lot of questions for me.  The 12th graders are rather boring, which is kind of surprising since they're in the Oberstufe class, which means they'll be taking their A-Levels this year, English being one of their subjects.  I guess they just have a lot on their plate to worry about as the equivalent of high school seniors...although one of the boys is applying for this year of service in a group of remote islands in the Pacific directly after Gymnasium before he goes to Uni, so I corrected his application essay- it's actually moments like those that I like the most- is seeing this new generation of kids growing up and discovering their interests and desires and whatnot.  I never thought 22 seemed too old, but when I had to do presentations on the American high school system and I had to sit down and think for a good half hour about my schedule when I was a sophomore in high school, I realized that it's been quite a while since I was in high school!

I'm also realizing just what a tough job teachers have.  I'm really only half a teacher this year, but I'm getting a good taste of what it would be like and at least as of now, I'm fairly certain I want to go into teaching and I've started perusing some grad programs in my free time (which there is an abundance of!)  As for the tough job though- teachers have to be completely engaged all day with changing groups of students all day, required to gauge the dynamic of every group; and then when the teaching is done for the day, they have to go home and grade papers and what I'm finding to be the most challenging part- thinking creatively to make engaging lesson plans!  Next week is Thanksgiving and I told my 8th grade teacher that I'd like to do a lesson with the kids- something a tad more interesting than the story of the Pilgrims and Native Americans in their textbooks.  He thought it was a great idea and responded with "Great idea!- What did you have in mind?!"  *Blank face hits Sabrina*  So now I've been perusing* and performing an exegesis* on the right-side of my brain (is the right side the creative side???)

(*peruse: to examine with great care; *exegesis: critical examination... not sure if I used either of those words quite correctly, but who cares.  Not the GRE!)

Anyways yeah- just searching for that creativity I perhaps once had when I was in high school and younger, searching for some kind of interesting lesson plan.  The same thing happened when I did a lesson on the election.  I was going to hand out an article about the election and ask the students to talk about it, and then as I was just about to fall asleep the night before my lesson, my creative juices began to flow and I had the idea to hand out the text of a speech and have the students discern whether they thought it was by Romney or Obama.  The majority of the class thought it was Obama, which was the point- but one bright kid found the key phrase that alluded to Romney and the GOP, in that he specifically mentioned something about having the most powerful military in the world.  Other than that though, the speech honestly could've been by Obama- and that was my point- that in America, every candidate can sound the same because American politics is so theatrical and dramatic, as my 11th graders could not stop pointing out when we watched Obama's acceptance speech.

That's just one anecdote about the creativity required to be a teacher, and the one time I was really able to reach it and engage my students.  All in time though!  I mentioned that I see my 6th graders three times a week, and that was a decision that I basically made.  This class will be the first bilingual class at the school, so beginning next year, this group will have half their classes in English and half in German.  So, for 11 and 12 year olds, their English is quite impressive.  And I absolutely adore them!  After almost two months now, and seeing them a few times a week, I'm starting to get to know the students, and the teacher said they're starting to feel more comfortable with me and I talked with the teacher, and he said I could take a bigger role in that class, like team-teaching the lessons and doing some on my own, because he thinks it's a great opportunity for them, as the bilingual class, to be taught by a native speaker.  So that's pretty exciting- and as 6th graders, they're just so excited to learn!  And that's just great to see when you're standing at the front of the classroom.

All in all, things at school are on their way up and I'm learning to be more assertive in my role and in making sure that the teachers I work with know that I want to work.  I didn't work my butt off all through college to be awarded a Fulbright just to sit around Germany and be bored.  And as with any endeavor, I'm imparting knowledge but also gaining quite a surfeit* in the process- I've already done the whole middle school and high school thing, but being on the other side of it, especially up to ten years later than when I did it, teaches me new things every day!

(*surfeit: an overabundant supply; excess)

After this prolix* post, I'll leave off with a joke that one of my 10th graders made about the election today.  (NB- it will probably only make sense if you have some basic understanding of German, or at least its prepositions)

(*prolix: long-winded, verbose)

"Before the election, it was Mit(t) Romney; now it's ohne Romney" (cue the laughs.)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Bonjour!

Je m'appelle Sabrina et je viens des États-Unis.  J'habite a Münster, Allemange.  Je parle anglais, allemand, et....FRANCAIS!

Yep, that was French from yours truly.  Most of you know that I work a very strenuous and taxing twelve hours a week, so I don't have a lot of time for frivolous activities.  Oh wait...got that backwards, didn't I?

I work twelve hours a week, so I've got more time than I know what to do with.  I've managed to fill up some of it with exploring every cafe in Münster to drink coffee, studying for the GREs (coming up on December 1!), beginning my half-marathon training today, and taking an intro to French class!  I'm enrolled at the University in Münster, but unfortunately, there is only one Französisch für Anfänger class, and it was overbooked the first day of registration back in September.  This happened in Heidelberg as well- and we could usually go to the first session and manage an override, but unfortunately again, I missed the first session because I was still in Ireland (secondary school schedule is quite different than the Uni schedule).  I went to the second session though, and there was a German girl in my exact situation, so she talked to the teacher and yet again, another unfortunate event- the class was absolutely too full and she couldn't let us in it.

But here's where things became fortuitous!  This girl I had just met, Kristina, told me about an intro to French class being held by the Interkulterelle Zentrum (like the intercultural center of the city), that was also once a week, and we just had to pay about 70 Euro for the semester.  I went to the first session a few weeks ago and the next Thursday was a holiday, and we just had the second session last Thursday and I'm immensely enjoying it!  The class moves a bit slowly, considering we're all university students and taking this class not for credit, but because we just really want to learn French, but it's still nice to exercise my brain in a classroom setting, where I'm not standing in front of the class.

Towards the end of my undergrad, I was so ready to be done with school and studying, and had decided that I was not going to go to grad school, but now that I'm back in a classroom learning, even if for just two hours a week, I realize that I really do miss it!  It's also quite an international class- an American (moi), a guy from Greece, a girl from Poland, a girl from Spain, and then the other four are German.

What's even more noteworthy though, is that I'm learning French...auf deutsch.   This facet is the one that most truly exercises my brain and really forces me to think and to pay attention!  Learning French in German though, has made me more confident in German, because it has made me realize just how much German I actually do know!  I give myself a lot of shit for my crappy German, and am constantly comparing myself to the other foreign speakers around me.  Yes, my speaking is not the greatest, but only because I am always too afraid to practice (although I'm already speaking more German this time around in Germany than I was when I was abroad in Heidelberg, because I would never say anything in class).  Anyways- I'm not constantly translating from French to German to English, but rather, am content with the German.  Granted, this is intro-level material, but it still makes me feel at least somewhat accomplished!  Also, just because of the fact that, even trying to form the most simple sentences in French causes me to draw a blank, and I end up thinking of the words in German, instead of English.  All of these points combined is making me a bit more confident in my German- if I think of what I want to say....I can say it usually without a problem.  Sometimes I may take a roundabout way to reach my point and mess up some verb orders, but I am able to express myself!

So here's to my French adventure!  And now when I visit Mollie at the end of March I'll obviously be fluent and we can go traipse around France.  Jokes.  But I'll at least know more than I did the last five times I visited France.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

How ye gettin' on?

It's been three weeks now since I took a trip to Ireland and as with anything, the more time something will take, the longer I procrastinate on it.  I was in Ireland for a week and so obviously had a lot to blog about, and I guess now that it's a Saturday night and I'm sitting in bed under the blankets catching up on "Downton Abbey" trying to not feel so crappy- this is a better time than any to finally blog about my trip!

I basically kept a little journal of my trip via the Notes app on my iPhone, so, in order to keep my sanity in writing about such a long trip, most of this will just be a copy & paste from the notes that I wrote with a bit of added commentary.  It'll be like being in Sabrina's mind!  You can choose whether or not you want to go there or not hahaha.

Wednesday 10. October
Left house at 1:15pm... 3 hours on regional trains to Weeze and then bus to Weeze, but all free cause of my semester ticket! My bag is only 8kg luckily. Sitting at the little cafe in the airport cause I'm super early (as always) and every single person around me is drinking wine or beer. Crazy how different Euro culture is. Decided not to wear the second pair of jeans because I would've not been able to breathe.
(Many readers will have had experiences with Ryan Air's strict baggage allowance restrictions- I was worried that my backpack would be too heavy and had heard that they were fairly strict in London Stansted, so I contemplated wearing two pairs of jeans to save space in my bag... after about five minutes I couldn't breathe so decided it would be more beneficial to my health to shove them in my bag)

(I booked two flights to get to Cork in order to save money- one from Germany to London, and then London to Cork, but this resulted in me spending the night in the Stansted airport- luckily it's quite a large airport unlike say, Frankfurt Hahn, and there were tons of other weary travelers joining me.)
And so begins the night in the airport. It's so weird being in an English speaking country again! Such a pain going through immigration because the guy didn't understand why I was working in Germany without a visa and then I had to explain how I'm not technically a worker... Oy vey. Luckily I've found this coffee shop that's open 24hours and got a nice panini and now I've only five hrs until I can check in woooo! Although there is a German family sitting next to me and the waiters at this place are polish. So I don't really feel like I'm in England hahah.

Also- this polish guy keeps saying "lady" to customers. And it sounds so rude. But obviously English is not his first language, which makes me realize that the concept of lady and ladies makes no sense. Saying "ladies" is very polite but saying "lady" is very rude unless you're talking about someone and not addressing them. English is confusing.
(When you're sitting alone in an airport for many hours lacking any contact with people- you start to think about weird things)

One of the baristas is Italian and is speaking with an Italian customer and I still understand some of what they're saying! I took two yrs of Italian and not for over four years yet I have taken six years of Germany and am now approaching a year of living there in total and still am so lost all the time. Why is German so hard?!?
(a completely valid thought- why is German so hard?!)

Thursday 11. October
Slept for a total of about two hours in increments. Stayed at my table and just slept on the table with my head down but after I got up and walked around I saw maybe a hundred people all sleeping sprawled out on benches and the floor- I was not alone! But I should've spread out so I could've gotten more sleep. I've given up on sleeping and have ordered myself a coffee. 5am- let the day begin. Had a bit more trouble going through security and visa check this time but hey that's why I gave myself eight hours right?!

Also, sitting here drinking my coffee surrounded by middle age British people as I wait for my gate number to Cork- I am now fully aware that half of me is from this little island of Britain which explains why I enjoy drinking so much! Not in an alcoholic way of course, but I just enjoy a nice drink. Well, here are all these Brits sitting here and this was even before 5am already pounding down the beers and wine and buying little bottles of gin wondering if they have enough for their trip. In America, this is only the behavior of college kids but in England, it's absolutely normal!

(Flight to Cork was very uneventful- listened to The Script and Flogging Molly to get me in the Irish spirit)

Taxi driver was great. First thing he says: "how ye gettin on?" And "great craic."
(For those of you who talked to me this summer, you might've noticed I started saying some weird things towards the end of those summer months.  This was a repercussion of Melissa and I slowly losing all of our friends in Boston as they moved to California, Hawaii, Texas, North Carolina, Connecticut, and Germany to name a few, and we therefore basically spent all of our free time with our Irish neighbors and saying such phrases as "What's da craic?" and "how ye gettin' on?" and more.  Sometimes Melissa and I still like to talk like this to each other for nostalgic purposes hahah)

Got to John, Sean, and James's flat around 11- it was just John and me more a while so we had some time to catch up on everything since I hadn't seen him for over a month, and then Marco, Sean, and James all came by for their lunch break- it was so good to see all of them!  Spent the afternoon napping and lounging around- basically just recovering from the hours and hours of traveling)

Pregamed with all the lads- we went to the wash for jägerbombs and then to Door 51.  That place was packed. You woulda thought it was a Saturday night out in Boston. (I think for the first time in my life I actually felt underdressed!  Irish girls get very glitzy to go out, moreso than we do in Boston, and Germany is just the opposite where you just wear what you wore all day to go out- so being in the Germany mindset along with having limited luggage with me resulted in feeling a bit like raggity-Ann!)
Me, John, and Declan at Door 51

Then we went to Havana night club which was crazzzzzy.  Eventually, McCaul and CJ appeared!!! All of us from Foster Street were just going mad.  I think in the end, we ended up with a gathering of me, John, Sean, James, Marco, CJ, and McCaul- so a little more than one third of their house!  Also, there's this thing they do in Irish cabs which I've never seen before- you can establish a price with the cabbie before you leave and they'll turn the meter off. I guess that's pretty cool, but I've got virtually no street smarts and would probably end up making it worse for myself.

McCaul, me, CJ, and Sean at Havanas


Friday 12. October
(Friday was a very lazy day- it was raining all morning, and the boys had class and then they spent hours playing FIFA and I was still wrecked from traveling and going out the night before.  Sean and James went home for the weekend and John was at his girlfriend's so I got a ride to downtown Cork before James left for home and spent the evening just walking around the city- it was super nice to get some fresh air and I went in a few churches which I love to do- Cork is just absolutely charming! Grabbed some food, got lost and had to take a cab home cause I couldn't find the bus stop...it ended up being on the other side of the street...again, no street smarts.  And then caught up on some of the election stuff and called it an early night- since the boys were gone, I didn't have to sleep on the couch, which was a nice plus)
Walking around downtown Cork

St. Fin Barre's Cathedral in Cork


 

Saturday 13. October
John came back around 2:30 and we made our way into town on the bus. Walked around, went to the infamous Tattoo Zoo so John could get his earlobe pierced.  I got to watch!  Then we went to a pub- The Courthouse Tavern, which was so tiny and had a nice fire making it all toasty. So cute and irish! (John had kept asking me what I wanted to do and I told him that my only request was to go to a super Irish pub and have a Murphy's)
Murphy's stout at Courthouse Tavern

I bought us a round of pints and I finally got to try my Murphy's- I liked it a lot more than I expected actually! Then we went and sat down for dinner at captain America's which was modeled after an American diner. Got a buffalo chicken pizza for a taste of home. (I kept finding it so ironic that there were so many American-style food places and clothes places, and during the week I even got a McFlurry and ate at a bagel place, and as I mentioned, the buffalo chicken pizza- yet, in Boston is just all about the Irish- we've got the Boston Celtics and Irish pubs are ubiquitous...just kind of funny that it seems each place is trying to embrace the other side of the pond)
Afterwards we walked around the downtown a bit and then caught the bus back to their flat.  We were gonna go out for some pints with John's cousin but that fell through, so we ended up just watching the X Factor and then "The Town" which I have now finally seen! (The guys all loved that movie and kept asking me and Melissa to record it on OnDemand or on one of the movie channels, and we searched basically every day and could never find it- it kind of became a running joke with everyone)


Sunday 14. October
Epitome of a lazy Sunday.  Declan, John, and I all scrounged up some food and made a pasta and chicken lunch and I did all the dishes and they picked up some trash so the flat is slightly less disgusting. (Nothing I wasn't used to though, after spending so much time in their house this summer lol)

Popped over to the store and got some toast and "biscuits" and then Sean came home so we and John and Declan went next door to McCarthy's for a pint, which turned into like seven pints and being out til midnight. The whole going out on Sundays is still true in Ireland- there was a dj and a ton of students out. Got chips and stuff too... What else... We were all a bit buzzed and then came back and were just ravaging whatever food was in the apartment. (OMG SO COLLEGEEEE. Haha but actually funny.  Some things never change.  And the premise of the whole Sunday thing is that over the summer- Sunday was the big night to go out, and all the Irish J1 kids would usually end up at Porter's down in Brighton Center going absolutely mad.  Melissa and I tagged along a few times towards the end and just could never get over how much they would drink on a Sunday!  The reasoning finally made sense though, once I actually got to witness it-  since the majority of students go home on the weekends, Sunday's the night when everyone is back together so everyone wants to go out!)

Monday 15. October
Ate a shit ton of toast this morning (I've been becoming so British lately!)  Sean and I walked over to CIT and he gave me a tour of the school and we randomly ran into Evan! He was on the move though so we only said hello.

Went to the mall with James and Sean- we ate at the food court which was soooo American. Went to a bagel and coffee place and got a bagel that had jalapeños hahah. Then we got McFlurrys which are made with smarties instead of M&M's here. Then went to the giant superstore Tesco, and bought a bunch of food for dinner tonight- pizza, onion rings, wedges, a pie, and a baguette with cheese and tomatoes. Sean and James says they never eat fruits or veggies cause I wanted to make a salad ... That is just crazy because there are like no fat people in Ireland. (in hindsight though, I'm thinking it's just that they're lazy boys in college who are not going to take the time to cook)

Cooked all the boys dinner- just pizzas and onion rings and fries but did make some tomato mozzarella bread things so at least they got something that wasn't processed. (Was just like the end of the summer when Melissa and I would cook Mexican dishes and the boys would call over asking what was for dinner hahah)

John and James left for the night so Declan, Sean, and I watched "Taken" which probablyyyy wasn't the best movie to watch when I'm about to be traveling alone.... lol.  Boys are back to FIFA- I don't know how they play it so much, but I've always wondered that when boys play video games in general.

I've felt like a mom since I got here- cleaning the apt, cooking, making sure they're eating healthy and doing homework, especially with John and nagging him to clean his ear so it doesn't get infected, making sure they've had enough to eat, etc.  Just being such a mom!

Tuesday 16. October
Said bye to John and Sean when they left for class this morning.  (While I waited until it was time for Gary to pick me up- I watched a lot of Irish daytime TV, which is actually mostly Australian- Home and Away, anyone???)
Driving from Cork to Dublin

About a three hour drive to Dublin- absolutely gorgeous scenery and it was a gorgeous day. The rolling hills of the Irish countryside.  (Gary's doing his Master's in business in Dublin and he shares a house with I think six or seven other students- the house is also right next door to a Domino's so of course that's what we ate for dinner.  Pizzzzzaaaaa)

Spent a lot of time channel surfing through all the music video channels - heard the new One Direction song like six times. Then went to Lidl to get drinks and drank from like 9-12 (finally got to FaceTime with Melissa while actually in Ireland!) and then we got in the cab and went downtown to this club called Coppers in downtown Dublin.  It was super expensive but had a good atmosphere and music except for like thirty mins when they played shit. They played Galway Girl and B*Wtched tho! At one point though, I got super sad cause it reminded me of JTree and I miss Boston and going out dancing with all of my friendsssss! (Taxi back and we were home just before 5- devoured chocolate and biscuits and such.  Again, some things never change.  These late nights are killing me, though.  And remember what day this is- Tuesday night!  So all the lads had class that next morning!  I mean, we went out on Tuesdays at BC- but were always back around 1, and we went out on Thursdays but no one had class on Fridays so it didn't matter!  Crazy Irish.)

Wednesday 17. October
Went to Dun Laoghaire (pronounced Leery) and went to a cute little restaurant called Harbor Bar and Grill? Finally got my pint of Guinness and a seafood chowder which was really good.  I like stouts though! Like obviously not for predrinking or whatever but just as a nice drink. (And I stayed true to my word cause I got two pints of Murphy's at the Irish Bar in Münster last night and quite enjoyed them!)

Then Gary and I walked all the way down the pier and walked along the ocean and there was a rainbow!!!! It was so nice!!!! (I now understand the luck of the Irish hahaha.  But seeing some beaches in Ireland- now I understand why the boys were always so fascinated and excited about going to the beaches in Massachusetts whereas we didn't think twice about them.)
Rainbow!
Standing on Dun Laoghaire Pier


Then Gary drove me to the airport- another rainbow!  Said bye and now I'm waiting to board my flight. That Guiness made me EXHAUSTED and I can't wait to sleep. It's my farewell to English speaking countries! Don't know how I feel about going back to Germany... It does feel more like home than Ireland though, despite the language. I just understand how Germany works more than Ireland lol.

(Again, flight was uneventful.  Landed at Frankfurt Hahn around 23:00, and then had to wait until 00:30 until the bus to Köln left.  It was funny being back in Frankfurt Hahn because that was where we flew from/back to when we all went to Portugal in June 2011- still one of my absolute favorite trips.  Got on the bus and there were two Irish guys who had been on my flight and they were going to a music festival in Köln- it was fun to talk to them and they were from the northwest part of the country, so when I told them I spent most of the week in Cork, they were saying how they couldn't even understand people from Cork.  Then again, it did take Melissa and me more than half the summer until we could actually understand everything the lads said.

Got to Köln right around 03:00 and then my train back to Münster left at 03:30 with a short layover in Düsseldorf- finally back in my bed in Münster by 07:00!  Again- LOTS of hours of traveling, but when I'm young and my body can still handle the inconveniences of traveling cheaply, then why not?  And you most always come out with some good stories!)

Okay, so now back to present reflections on the trip!  I know I kind of cheated by just copying and pasting, but I did add the bits of commentary, and if I hadn't have done that, I probably just never would've written- that ended up happening with YAYA in Europe in Lyon as well as Portugal- both very eventful and long trips that I just couldn't even imagine going back and writing about.


All in all though, I had a nice time in Ireland.  It was much more low-key than I expected, but I keep telling myself that I was going to visit friends and not necessarily to sightsee.  Also, I was on school break, so I wouldn't have been been doing much else if I hadn't have gone.  It really was so nice to see so many of the boys, and I think in some ways it brought a bit of closure to the summer.  They all got to experience and be immersed in mine and Melissa's lives in Boston and this time, I got to experiences their lives.  A complete exchange!  And it wasn't until I was visiting them that I realized that oh wait, they are still all in college and like any college, you have work to do and life's not always a party as it is in the summer.  So, visiting them and witnessing that made me see the summer as a little more special for all of us, because they all talked about how much they missed it as well.  It's not just me pining for the Boston summer sun.

Ireland is lovely though- I had visited it very briefly when mom and I did a cruise all around the British Isles in the summer of 2005, but I like much more visiting places and staying with people you know that live there- I didn't really do any touristy things, but I got a better taste for actual Ireland and Irish life from the perspective of people my age.  As I said- there's something to be said for those cultural exchanges!  I don't know when I'll be doing any more traveling though- there are no long breaks until Christmas, and for that, I'll be going to Rae's in the Midlands in England (again- I've been to England before, but it'll be so much better to experience it with English people!) and we have a two week break in March, but that's when I'm planning to visit Mollie down in Montpellier (hopefully!).  But I knew this when I came, my semester abroad was much more focused on traveling to new places, whereas this time around, I'm trying to focus more on immersion into German life, since I'm more or less actually working here.



When in Germany- don't wear a dirndl for Halloween

We learn from experience, right?  Haha I'm making this sound so terrible- don't worry, wearing a dirndl on Halloween in Germany is really not the end of the world, just not recommended.  In the States, if I wore my dirndl, it would be a perfectly acceptable Halloween costume.  Well, in Germany- everyone still holds on to the idea that you're supposed to dress scarily for Halloween.  Some of the other ETAs and I arrived at a German house party in Osnabrück, and I felt a little out of place in my purple checkered dirndl amidst myriad Germans dressed all in black with zombie faces and fake blood and whatnot. 

Tom and Jon at least had a zombie theme going on- I just look weird


Regardless though, the house party was a good time, and the couple hours at the club in the wee hours of the morning proved a good time as well- despite being completely and utterly exhausted from whatever we were doing in Düsseldorf for three days.

Speaking of Düsseldorf- I was there!  Münster is in the state of Nordrhein-Westfalen (North-Rhein-Westphalia, in English) which encompasses literally, the region of the North-Rhine and Westphalia in Germany.  (Anyone remember the Treaty of Westphalia?  Bingo.)  Anyways, Germany, like the United States, has a federal system, so this is one of the 16 federal states of the country.  It is the most populous state in Germany, largely due to the densely populated industrial Ruhr region located right between the northern Rhine cities of Düsseldorf and Köln and the Westphalian region where Münsterland is.  There's your geography lesson of the day.

All the FSAs (Fremdsprachenassistenten...including English, Spanish, French, and Italian) of our area met in Düsseldorf for three days this past week for what was called a "Studienkompaktkurs"....or something.  I don't even remember what it was called at this point.  There were probably around 100 of us- and since we all came from different countries, everything we did was conducted in German....duh.  The first day we went on a tour of the Landestag, which is the German equivalent of a state government house.  We learned about the building itself, and how the architecture is conducive to democracy and equality, and learned about what the governing body is in charge of- the big component being education.  Ohhhhh, so that's why we're here!  Because we are literally working for them! Lol.

Inside the Landestag

The Landestag building- note the circular architecture


 
We also went to Essen to take a tour of the Ruhr Museum.  I don't live in the Ruhrgebiet, so I didn't particularly care too much about it- but it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, so I guess that's cool.  The region is so incredibly industrial that it is investing a heck of a lot of time and energy to prove to the world that is has culture and art as well.  To its credit though, the Dortmund team of the Bundesliga has been number one for the past two years I think?  Or something impressive like that...

The Ruhrgebiet- you can see Münster way at the top!
We then went to an art museum but could only see on exhibit which was rather disappointing.  Tuesday night we went out and experienced some of the Düsseldorf nightlife.  Wednesday consisted of a Stadtrundfahrt (city tour) which actually was pretty interesting, because I had traveled to Düsseldorf for the day back when I was abroad but we didn't know anything about that city or where anything was, so this time around, I actually learned something!

Then we had to sit through a two plus hour Marionettentheater play- the German version of "The Never Ending Story."  The theater was impressive, no doubt, but everyone's attention span was so far gone and we were all ready to get home, especially it being Halloween and all, that I'd say 70% of the FSAs fell asleep during the show.

Trained back to Münster and proceeded to prepare for Halloween!  It is at this point that I'm realizing that I'm not writing quite chronologically...oh wells.

Yesterday evening I joined my 11th grade class and their teacher at an Irish pub for some drinks.  Yep.  Pretty weird.  I guess the class gets together about once a month or so to do some kind of activity, whether it be a show or travel or in this case, drinks!  So, my night consisted of sitting in a bar with about twenty sixteen year-olds drinking beer.  They thought it was hilarious that I couldn't get over how weird this was.  But in Germany, the drinking age for beer and wine is 16, and for liquor is 18- although even some clubs will require you to be 21 to get in.

Despite all the weirdness though, it was a good time!  As much as I love Irish pubs, I don't think there was really a possibility for a bad time- but it was nice to socialize with my students in a casual setting, and I was able to speak some German with them and actually get to know them as teenagers, rather than just in a classroom setting.  I was absolutely exhausted all day- still recovering from Düsseldorf and Halloween, so I called it a night just after 11, and I was actually being peer-pressured by 16 year-olds to stay out.  I don't think I've ever felt so old in my life!  I am a bit sick though today, and haven't left the flat nor changed out of my pj's- so I guess it was good I didn't stay out too late.  I think part of it has to do with the drastic weather changes we've been having- this week has been dreary and rainy and cold, and the clocks turned back last weekend, so it's now dark around 5:30 (To all my beloveds back home though- you're next!)  Luckily I've got the rest of the weekend to recover, and then it's back to normal school on Monday and then no more breaks or weird FSA get together things until the Christmas holidays!

I'll end with a beautiful sunset on the Aasee :)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

I'm not over it.

Now that I'm back abroad, I spend a lot of time on Facebook.  I'm not usually one who even signs onto Facebook chat, but when abroad, it's the easiest way to get in touch with people in your city about plans, because most of us have pay-as-you-go phones. Also, with the six hour time difference between here and the East Coast, it makes it easier to catch people quickly if they happen to sign on for a bit.

All of this time on Facebook though, has got me thinking... and I've realized that Facebook in a way glorifies our lives.  I've been keeping in touch with a good number of friends back home, and they are all aware of the struggles I'm encountering with moving to Germany and having to leave behind a life that I was in love with and was in no way ready or happy to leave.  But for anyone else besides these friends whom I've spoken of deeper feelings to were to look at my Facebook, they would think that I was having the time of my life-- like I was in freakin' Dirty Dancing or something.  Haha... comic relief, anyone?

Now yes, yes, yes, I KNOWWWWW that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity- to go live abroad for a year while I have no familial or fiscal responsibilities, while I'm 22 going on 23, all of this while only working twelve hours a week.  I know all of that.  But that doesn't change the fact that my Facebook posts and pictures only show one side of the story.  I'll admit, returning to Heidelberg was amazing, the Okotberfest celebration Katherine and I went to was a blast, riding a horse through Münsterland brought me types of happiness I haven't felt in years, jetting off to Ireland during school break to visit summer friends was super clutch, but that's all only half of it.

I'm obviously not going to post about the hardships on Facebook or take pictures when I'm sad, though.  But this is what a blog if for, right?  People can choose to read it or not.  When I was abroad in Heidelberg, my hardships revolved more around learning to live in a new country- adjusting to the language barrier, figuring out how to grocery shop, figuring out how to use the public transportation system... those are all things I already know how to do this time around in Germany.  And I'll admit, the fact that grocery shopping is no problem, and that taking the bus or the train somewhere doesn't require a second thought has made the adjustment infinitely easier, but there's still more.

I was skyping with my mother today and I finally said it out loud- I'm not over BC.  It's like, when it takes you a long time to get over an ex or a broken friendship- this is how I feel about BC.  If I go out, I'll be having a grand time, and all of a sudden I get super sad and just want to go back to a bar in Boston- where I know how everything works and I know what to wear and I know everything about my friends and how they act if they're drinking or if they're with certain people.  Or even if I'm biking to school in the morning- I just want to be hiking up the million dollar stairs to Devlin or Lyons or Gasson, and saying hello to people in the quad, or people-watching on our bench.  Or if I'm grabbing food at the grocery store, I'd rather be grabbing food at Lower or realizing that I have no food in my fridge in Gabelli and going for Moogy's or Boloco or Pino's.  I'm not over BC.

And what makes it even more difficult is that I am pining for a life that doesn't exist for me anymore.  Again, Facebook glorifies everything again in the sense that I still have myriad Facebook friends who are students at BC, so seeing their posts and pictures every minute doesn't help me to get over a life that has ended for me.  When I was abroad junior year, a YOLO mentality was much easier because I knew that I had another year at BC left.  I was returning to all of my friends, my school, my activities, my classes, my city, and all with new stories and adventures in my pocket.  This time around though, that security doesn't exist.  I have no idea what I'll be doing when I leave Germany, I have no idea where my friends will be-- considering that now they're all over the freakin' world!  (See map for just a small sample size)



All of that is just really scary.  And for some reason, it doesn't make being in Germany for me any easier.  I'm not really any more sure of what I want to do with my life than I was six months ago.  I did get around to a bit of motivation today though and created an online GRE account and am aiming to take the GREs up in Hamburg the first or second week of December, maybe apply to a few grad programs after that before the deadlines in January, and Katherine and I found a half marathon in Cologne in February that we're going to sign up for.  It's just quite strange to go from four years at BC where everything revolved around deadlines for papers, dates for midterms and finals, afternoons for games, evenings for performances, nights for work, weekends for parties... to go from all of that to very little structure or purpose whatsoever.

I really am trying to be optimistic about all of this, and am hoping that these feelings are just the valley of the ups and downs of living abroad- changes of which I'm well aware after spending half a year in Germany in 2011.  I guess I just wanted to express that while there have been some wonderful experiences thus far, now into my second month over here, it's not just all traveling and eating and drinking beer- it's a lot of emotional stuff too, which is of course harder to talk about.

As for getting over BC though, I guess all it takes is time...

For here all are one and our hearts are true, and the towers on the Heights reach to Heaven's own blue...

Probably my favorite night at MA's. Ever.  With some of my favorite people. Ever.

No sleep and past the point of a healthy level of emotions on Commencement morning.